MODERN LOVE WALKS BESIDE ME
I've noticed that when I'm in a relationship I'm either one of two things: miserable or very corny. I was very miserable for a long time with certain people I've dated and with others I've been a pretty bad mix that I don't prefer. Usually on here I refer to my boyfriend as my boyfriend and not by his name but for this I will be. I'm not sure why I never do. Christian is the only person I've ever been with that has only made me feel corny, never miserable. Today we'll be dating for 6 months and that is the longest I have ever been with anyone, probably because I am miserable with most people. Not Christian though.
Because I was feeling miserable in past relationships I just started feeling miserable in general, whether or not I was with someone. When I met Christian I was starting to feel better. He told me about how he had the same feelings I had with people and without them. I guess two miserable people can make each other happy because we did. We make each other so happy. I can't imagine what it'd be like to not have him around and that scares me a little but I know that he'll always be there. I always want him to be and he feels the same way about me. He's not only making me happy to have a boyfriend but he's making me happy in general. I've noticed I seem to have a spring in my step more often than not. I never really had one before, even when I thought I would. He just makes me realize how lucky I am and how lucky I have been in the past. I needed someone to show me what was missing and how to get it back. I think everyone deserves that.
I'm sorry about this really corny post but I'm sure Christian will appreciate it. I hope a lot of you do, too. For the longest time I never thought falling in love would happen for me because it seemed like it wouldn't. It really really seemed like it wouldn't. I met a lot of jerks before I met someone wonderful and when I wasn't meeting jerks I wasn't meeting anyone at all and feeling a bit sorry for myself. I haven't felt that way in a very long time and I never want to feel that way again. I don't think you need a partner to feel happy about yourself. I think I just needed someone to show me that I should feel happy. I realized after a while that I should've been happy this whole time, I just wasn't seeing it. Christian makes me think I'm pretty and smart and funny because I am pretty and smart and funny, I just couldn't see it for 20 years. But I'm happy to say that I'm happy now and that I have been happy for a while and I predict I'll be happy for a long time. Thank you for making me feel that way, Christian. I love you.
(oh and you guys are welcome for the Bowie reference)